(This was an article I tried to publish for The Big Issue magazine)
Date created: 15/8/2024
(Please don't use my writing without my permission)
There’s been something hanging in the air for people with disabilities for fifteen or twenty years and it’s about time someone started to voice it. Having a disability is hard. I think it’s harder than ever now. With the presence of social media, there are influencers showing everyone what they ‘should’ be doing with their lives, travelling, buying sports cars, dining at fancy restaurants, having babies at 20. That’s not realistic for many and can be particularly draining for people with disabilities who are being told how to ‘keep up with the Jones’s.’ In a world where depression is rife and anxiety levels are through the roof, I wish people could see how damaging it is to the mental health of those with disabilities to see these glamorous people dressing up in red, fancy frocks in ‘Tuscany’, sipping from their wines, while those of us with disabilities sigh and wish we could join in.
I know there is a vast spectrum of people with disabilities who can travel and see the world, and to them I say, ‘Good on you!’ But for people like me, who was born at 24 weeks, diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at two years old, and dystonia at eight, and who gets around in a wheelchair, it’s always been a tricky hurdle to deal with, that I probably will never be able to travel independently. At nearly 24 years old, I still live at home with my parents and siblings. And I have never travelled overseas because I fear being in the air. Things are difficult enough to navigate on the ground.
So, to the influencers posting their trips to Japan, America and London, I’m not saying you can’t travel the world, but for just a moment every now and again, please consider how lucky you are to be able to jet off like that. I have debilitating anxiety at times and would need a service dog if I were to travel, but with no job and having never had a job, I don’t know where I would get the funds to pay for such a dog, particularly the training that would be required. Just the thought makes my dystonia ramp up in crazy spasms. To the influencers: When I see your posts, I die a bit inside, for I am at the age where you and other able-bodied people leap at every chance to go overseas and to honeymoons with their partners.
As such, don’t even get me started on the ‘happy ten-year anniversary, baby’ posts people put up on their stories. When these ‘influencers’ are happily married at 25, posting their happy life with their husbands and wives and their children, I’m still figuring out relationships. A hopeless romantic since day dot, I still see only the absolute best in people. That’s my downfall. I get too enthusiastic when meeting someone new, and because I’m so romantic, so bubbly and full of beans, I commonly let myself down. I ask you; is it because of my disability? They don’t want to handle the fact that I am in a wheelchair, and it would be harder to date me? I am determined to do as many things as I can, but in the case of blossoming romantic relationships, I always feel a bit alone, and that makes me want it more. As such, I haven’t even been kissed yet, and that gets me down. Having a partner seems like the whole package, but where is my knight in shining armour to greet me after a long, tired day?
But there is a silver lining to my life. I am lucky to be born in an incredibly accommodating country, I am cherished by my loving family, and have a dog Pippa, a doe eye, cross Pug, Cavalier, King Charles Spaniel who loves nothing more than to lick my face. I can be seen barracking for the St. Kilda Football Club on the hallowed seats of Marvel Stadium and, mark my words, I can be seen at bars, shopping centres, you name it, I’m there, if I can get there. I find I’m still slowly doing increasingly more for myself, which includes getting dressed all by myself. The influencers can’t tell me how to live my life, or what a ‘good life’ entails, I’ll decide that for myself, thanks.
I am also writing a book, and one day the world will read it and say, ‘Carla, you're not lonely anymore. We’re all by your side; cheering you on.’
I also have a social media presence (Instagram: @hack_the_stigma) and through this, I intend to educate those who may not be aware of what it is like to live with a disability. It can be isolating but it can also be incredibly rewarding. This is what I hope to portray in my account and inspire others to always do their best. I guess I’m on my way to being a positive influencer.
From the word go, nestled in the NICU crib, I learnt that I was a fighter, ‘Mighty Mouse’ is an apt description of me, I wear it like a badge of honour and to this day I won’t back down from a fight.
It’s you and me, influencer, who will win?
Comments